Barro Negro and the Wedding Fiesta (no lo hagas!)

I have been helping some high school students with their English studies and one of the girls in the class (Gloria) invited me to her village, a place called San Bartolo Coyotepec, where they make barro negro (black pottery). I am always amazed by how generous people here are with the most valuable commodity any of us have - time. I can't tell you how many people have taken an entire day and sometimes a night to show me around or help me out after doing something as simple as asking for directions. Americans are the most generous people in the world with their money. We are far and away the best tippers in the world (and whoever is second isn't even in the same league). But most of the people here don't have the money to share so they share something much more valuable. And without a second thought. They don't just invite you to their house for dinner, they invite you into their lives. You are part of the family. They will do anything for you. It's why I was never worried during the flu outbreak. I had an army of people who would have dropped everything and rushed to help me. However, of all of the generosity and goodness that I have been shown, Gloria stands out. I hate to speak in superlatives, but she is possibly the nicest human being I have ever met. She is completely un-jaded by the world and lacks even the smallest hint of cynicism. Except about the Mexican government of course. She invited me to her village to see the black pottery and go to a "fabrica" to see the process. The process and results are interesting but seemingly every person in the place makes the stuff. I have no idea how anyone makes a living when virtually every store on every block sells exactly the same products. I figured I would be there for a couple of hours and then catch a bus back to town. After walking around for two hours with Gloria and two other students, the other two left and Gloria invited me to her house to meet her family. We walked down a few dirt streets until we reached her house. Her mom was outside in the kitchen (outdoor kitchens are very common) and her sister and brother were playing Pac Man on an old classic console like youi would have seen in an arcade circa 1982. I guess by an American standard the family would be considered poor. I have a very hard time figuring out where people fit here. I don't want to judge, I only want to try and get some perspective or context. I do know that I have some rich friends here. I also know I have some fairly poor friends. People are very sensitive about using the word "poor" though. There is also city middle class, country middle class, and village middle class. And another very American assumption is that people are unhappy if they are poor or don't have as much shit gathering dust in a garage. Absolutely not true. On any level. These are some of the happiest people in the world and they have the same life expectancy as we do. And it's certainly not the stress that's killing them. Anyway, I think Gloria is pretty solidly middle class for where she lives. Her parents definitely have some foresight and resources if they sent her to a private high school and are sending her to a university. After we arrived at her house, her mother (of course) offered me some food which would have been rude to refuse. Gloria disappeared for an hour without saying a word (another very typical thing here) and her mother and I sat looking at pictures of her old Mixtec village up in the mountains. She also told me stories about Mezcal and the different types of agave and let me sample some of the goods. Gloria finally returns and tells me that I am going to a wedding with her. I said that I couldn't go because I wasn't invited and didn't have the right clothes. She explains to me that where she lives, I am her guest and therefore she can bring me. She also said that I am a guest of the entire village and it is a great honor for the novios (bride and groom) to have me at their wedding as a visitor and especially a foreigner. We weren't actually going to the wedding but to the fiesta/reception. It's funny because when we were walking by the church, the groom was walking in and I was saying "no lo hagas" (don't do it) not knowing they were friends of Gloria's. She thought it was hilarious. Kind of like when I call myself a pinche gringo. Always good for a laugh here if you can make fun of yourself. You will get a good response every time here if you call yourself a pinche gringo. No lo hagas from a gringo definitely got some good laughs. So, after Gloria changes her shirt 15 times (some things don't change no matter where you are in the world) we go the fiesta. The fiesta was at this little ranch or "ranchito." There were burros, horses, oxen, and lots of chickens and turkeys walking around. When you walk in, everyone gets a giant back of regalos (gifts). You get junk food, fruit, photos, and some handcrafts. There are people (not waiters but friends) walking around with trays of beer and Mezcal and you Will drink. Even if you are 15. The first course was hot chocolate and sweet bread. The second course was soup. The third course was a different kind of hot chocolate that you had to eat with a spoon. I didn't know how to eat it which was very entertaining for the people sitting across from me. I tried to drink it. The main course was pork mole and tortillas. The really interesting part was that they handed out bags for every to take food home. And everyone did. Gloria told me that the tradition for all parties there is to make a bunch of food so that everyone can take food home. At the wedding fiesta, everyone took their food home and then changed clothes to put on their dancing duds. The bride and groom don't even show up until after 9 PM because their immediate and extended families go to their homes after the actual ceremony and wait for them to visit. Then they show up at the fiesta, the band starts, and it is ON! I spent the next six hours (that would be 3 AM) getting salsa lessons from five high school girls while drinking Mezcal and getting introduced to basically every single person there.

All of this could be mine if I would go to a village and buy a girl. Yes, I said buy a girl. More on that and other things Gloria and her friends have told me later. However, I will say that Gloria told me that her family doesn't really buy into that tradition but I could change that according to her and her mother. Slow down, ladies.

In any case, I know that where I come from, nobody gives up an entire day and night to someone who was previously a stranger. I constantly feel like repaying people but A) I can't and B) they won't accept it.